


2 a.m.

by lasairfhiona



Category: West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-20
Updated: 2012-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-29 20:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/324027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasairfhiona/pseuds/lasairfhiona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trains of thought that only occur when you're alone at 2 a.m.</p><p>Post "College Kids"</p>
            </blockquote>





	2 a.m.

Leo leaned back against the side of the hot tub and let the jets massage away the tightness in his back. He didn't know why, things had been more stressful than they were now, but tonight, for the first time in a long time, he was feeling every bit of his age. Re-election was in high gear and they were gaining ground over Ritchie. Qumar, however, was raising its ugly head once again about Sharif's disappearance but it hadn't added any more stress except for the fact that there was conversation in their 'what if' scenarios of a war crimes tribunal and for Leo that also meant Vietnam would come up. Maybe Margaret sensed something was up and that was why she had once again appointed herself his keeper, ensuring that he took care of himself. There were days he would bet his long time assistant knew him better than he knew himself. And there was no reason why she shouldn't. She'd been with him a long time and had been through both the victories and defeats over the years.

Leo smiled. The last four years. They had been a hell of a four years. They had a lot of good mixed with their fair share of bad but they managed to overcome many of the obstacles put in their way. So much so they were on the cusp of having another four years to do their best to improve the country for their children and grandchildren.

Tonight, however, he didn't want to think about all the things they still wanted to accomplish or what they would have to do to make sure they got the chance to do them. Tonight, he just wanted the knots with knots in his back to go away. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his mind and concentrate on nothing but the feel of the water as it swirled around him. He sighed in contentment as the streams pounded against the sore spots in his back then glided over his skin like the comforting touch of a lover. He was glad his residency in the executive suite gave him preferred status and access to the pool, whirlpool and sauna after normal operating hours. Another benefit to being able to come and go in the middle of the night meant he wasn't confined to wearing a swimsuit and could enjoy the freedom of being unencumbered in the water.

Jed often harassed him good-naturedly about his money and he made no bones about the fact he enjoyed the finer things having money afforded him. The people he loved also enjoyed the benefits of his money. He spared nothing for his daughter, or his wife. Mallory had gone to private schools from the moment she started kindergarten and had the best money could buy. Jenny continued to live the life she'd grown up around with an elegant home, designer clothing, and the jewelry he loved to surprise her with for no reason at all. Or at least used to. All of his money and the benefits it gave him couldn't give him the one thing he'd thrown away. His marriage. Jenny.

Lifting his hand out of the water, Leo looked down at the gold band he'd worn for the so long. It was so much a part of him that most days he never noticed its presence. Physically it would be easy to pull the ring from his finger and tuck it into the box that also held his father's wedding band. But he *couldn't* take it off. He couldn't remove the one remaining piece of the woman he'd loved for the better part of thirty years. He'd fallen head over heels in love with Jenny the first moment he'd met her. He'd courted her and the day he'd married her was the happiest day of his life, eclipsed only by Mallory's birth. Working lunches and drinks with donors and congressmen took their toll on him and his marriage as his family legacy took over and he became his father and grandfather. Through everything though, he'd always loved her. Drunken nights in sleazy hotel rooms trying to sleep off his latest binge, she was first in his thoughts. He'd finally called Jed for help. And let his old friend help him give his wife something she never through she'd see again. Him. Sober.

Bartlet for America and Chief of Staff had been the last straw for Jenny and three years ago she'd walked away from him. She was tired of being put second in his life. Or was it third? He wondered. Did Jed and his job count as one or two things he'd put in front of her in importance?

When Jordan came into his life last year, he'd thought maybe he was ready. He was lonely and Jordan was everything he liked in a woman. Everything Jenny had been when he'd fallen in love with her. Jordan was beautiful, intelligent, and could match him quip for quip when she wanted to. She understood his commitment to his job and didn't fault him for it because she had the same for hers. By the time the hearings were over, she knew his secrets too. They had gone out, enjoying quiet dinners and evenings spent at her apartment. But when push came to shove, he hadn't been as ready as he'd thought or maybe he hoped. Jordan had even understood that in the end.

Was he kidding himself though? Was he ready and simply afraid to take the final step? Was he afraid to remove the ring and admit that it really was over between he and Jenny? That she was no longer his wife. He'd spent the last three years alone. Was he willing to spend the next twenty or thirty without some one to share his life with because he was clinging to a life that was no longer his present let alone his future?

Leo looked at the ring and for the first time since his wedding day pulled it off his hand. He looked at his naked finger and realized it had been along time since he'd seen it unadorned with gold. As he rubbed the calloused indentation on his finger with his thumb, it felt strange. Like a part of him was missing. He fought the urge to shove it back on and pretend he'd never removed it. But he didn't. He continued to toy with it. Rolling it around his finger and feeling the engraved inscription he didn't need to look at it to know it said "Leo and Jenny" and their wedding date. He'd missed so many anniversaries over the years because of work but he never forgot how beautiful she looked walking down the aisle toward him.

He slipped the ring back on his finger even though it was bittersweet to think of that day so long ago. He would wear it for a while longer but for the first time since he signed the divorce papers, he started to accept she wouldn't be coming back. They would never be Leo and Jenny again. Mallory had been telling him that for a couple of years now but he'd continued to hold out hope that one day, after Jed was out of office, he could go back and make a life with Jenny again.

He'd wear the ring a little longer. Until he found someone he'd be willing to take it off for. Someone he could start a new life with. Jordan came to mind. He'd seen her that morning when she'd come to the White House at his request. She looked good. Damn good. The chemistry was still there between them and maybe he could try again, if she let him. Maybe this time he could give her what he couldn't six months ago.

Some of the knots in his back had released whether from the pressure of the water jets or from his inner revelation, Leo didn't know. He was grateful, however, for their absence for now. He knew they would be back – the thing with Qumar was far from over. But for tonight he could rest a little more comfortably and dream of a future that was suddenly now more possible.


End file.
